Submissived Anne, not her real name, holds up her phone and checks her mail. She let out a hearty laugh at once, loving the joke that was shared with her. Anne is a 32 year old businesswoman who is quite successful at what she does. She has a strong personality, has great wit and charm, and tends to dominate any conversation. When it comes to sex, however, she backs down. Asked about how she prefers having sex, she pauses for a while. Putting her phone down, she went in a serious tone. ”I am submissived woman when it comes to sex”, she says. I enjoy doing what my partner wants to do, and in the bedroom I like being put into submission.
Submission. It is a word that is usually thrown around because, why not? Not everyone wants to rule the world. We know that people like to take charge. To them, it is great to be in control. Be it at work, at home, in sports and games. Not everyone, though, likes to be the dominant partner when it comes to sex.
Anne is not alone. Women – and even men – are surprisingly submissive. Submissive sex is one way for people to show that they care for their partners, albeit in an unconventional way. But why do people do it? Surely, there are other ways to show our partners that we care.
The common belief about submissive sex is that it is all about pain and bondage. This is far from the truth. In submissive sex, women are asked to wear a costume, or get tied up, bindfolded, engage in rough sex, or be told whatever men want them to do, or just simply lie down as her man work her up. Then there is the exploration side of it as both partners get to know each other’s bodies as they go along. It is more about living each other’s sexual fantasies, and the pleasure could not be any better. It also allows the trust between both partners to grow; trusting each other mentally, spiritually, and of course emotionally.
In this time of feminism, or what is known to be the metoo movement, is it still okay to be submissive? Doesn’t submissive sex run contrary to what feminists are fighting for? The answer, of course, is no. Submissive sex is mutual for both partners, something that has to be talked about and agreed upon before doing the deed. And besides, submissive sex now runs both ways, with either the male or the female being the dominant partner. Sex is no longer the monopoly of men; women have a say about it as well.
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